Wacky Adventures in Bangkok
Bangkok, Thailand

This entire week with Aaron has been saturated with entertainment. There seemed to be no shortage of good times and drama—something was always spicing up our days.

The majority of the stories aren't for pubic consumption—they're tales of joy and panic to be retold over drinks, someplace friendly. I was honestly breathing a sigh of relief when I watched Aaron pass through immigration without getting detained at the airport this morning.

So, in lieu of censored tales (that wouldn't be any fun to write anyway), I offer up to you some random statistics from the week:

• Number of passport covers given to me as a gift for the purpose of disguising my nationality to others: 1
• Number of nightclubs visited: 6
• Amount of Thai baht for admission into Bed: 700
• Number of times randomly stopped, harassed, and physically searched by the police: 2
• Number of celebrity wedding receptions attended: 1
• Number of glasses full of red wine accidentally spilled onto a new shirt borrowed from Aaron: 1
• Number of swims taken during a lightning storm at night: 1
• Number of massages had: 1
• Number of movies seen at the cinema: 2
• Number of instant oatmeal packages consumed: 12
• Average number of times the word "bowl" and "spoon" were repeated over the phone to the front desk (to eat said oatmeal), before housekeeping just started leaving clean ones when they made up the room: 3
• Number of Aaron's "fruit salads" witnessed: 1
• Number of Marine cadence calls demonstrated: 3
• Number of Aaron's friends met: 3
• Number of trips on the monorail: 9
• Number of taxi drivers that refused to turn on the meter: 2
• Number of times Aaron was electrically shocked by various gag toys: 3
• Number of Lamborghini seen for sale inside SE Asia's largest mall: 1
• Number of flavored shots of vodka sampled at a bar made of ice: 1
• Number of bandanas needed to wrap around the chest of a petite Thai girl (wow): 1
• Number of Thai girls yelled at with possible connections to the police: 2
• Number of backpacks stashed (outside of the hotel room), for fear of police raid: 1
• Number of hand-to-hand combat/knife disarmament training sessions: 1
• Number of languages I heard Aaron speak with confidence: 4
• Number of high-end prostitutes seen leaving our hotel between the hours of four and six in the morning: 5
• Number of nights that I didn't go to bed at all: 1
• Number of digital cameras seen thrown out the window of a speeding taxi, and the subsequent number of deceitful women who proceeded to flip out and start screaming for the police: 1
• Amount of Thai baht seen given to said girl for compensation, and to shut her up: 15,000
• Number of laughs, smiles, and stories told over the course of the week: Countless

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