Miami Beach is Full of Nuts
Miami Beach, United States

Maybe it's the people, or maybe it's the amount of time I've been spending on the mass transit system, but I'm pretty much convinced that Miami has some of the wackiest and craziest nut jobs this country has to offer (thanks, in part, to the widespread immigration of nut jobs from other countries to this city).

As entertainment value goes, I think my absolute top pleasure as a spectator watching the absurd has to be the old people on the bus that have taken shit their entire lives, and now they've deiced to fight back (over anything and everything). NO! they scream, and rant and rave about the oddest of issues (like their proximity to a construction worker, or sliding over or moving to allow someone to take the window seat). Maybe it's because they're days are numbered, or maybe it's because they're old, and people will finally pay attention to them now if they scream loud enough. Either way, it's entertaining as hell to watch.

Second and third runners-up are the guys who take their metal detecting hobby wayyyy too far and do it chest-deep in the ocean surf—there's something loose up there—and the wackos who think they can do tai chi chuan on the beach because they saw it in a movie a couple years ago. Are they just homeless with time to kill, or mentally unbalanced? Maybe both.

I'll miss Miami Beach, and it's crazy people. I'll miss the hot topless girls playing pass-football, waist-deep in the warm South Beach water, as well—probably more, actually—but I won't soon forget the crazies.